Billie The UH Squirrel
The University of Houston is awash in squirrels. Not only that but according to my daughter, who is a senior at the university this year, people actually seem to like the little tree rats. Allison tells me that people try to have the tiny vermin climb in their lap, pet them, and feed them. “Dad, yesterday a girl gave one of those rats her whole burrito. Like, her whole burrito! It came and took it right out of her hand and dragged it off a ways and ate it. Nasty!”
Nasty is right!
Squirrels are hosts to ticks, fleas, and other parasites, can carry diseases such as salmonella, tularemia, rabies, and leptospirosis, and have no right whatsoever to Tex-Mex of any kind. In short, squirrels aren’t pets. They’re not domesticated, and people shouldn’t be encouraging or even training them to interact with humans. Even if they’re considered to be a lucky squirrel.
UH had such a squirrel back in 2017. The oddly colored vermin carried a white chevron, white paws, and a partially white tail. He resided around the Butler Plaza / MD Anderson Library area of campus and was referred to by students, faculty, and visitors as Billie, Alex, or Billie Alexander. Because of his unique coloration and the fact that he was only rarely seen, Billie the looks-like-he-got-partially-bleached-tree-rat was considered lucky. Spotting Billie meant good fortune was heading your way. Seeing him meant you would for sure ace your next test or do well on that big project. Actually, feeding him was considered extra lucky.
Unfortunately, Billie’s own luck ran out in March 2017 as he was found stiff on the ground, dead from some unknown cause. Word spread quickly of Billie’s demise and a shrine was set up where his body was found. A trifold was set up, flowers placed, and candles set. People left handwritten notes, condolence cards, gift cards (Come on. What would. Dead squirrel need a gift card for?), and his favorite snacks of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, curly fries, bagels, and more. The University released a statement. “With sadness, we share that an unusual campus legend, the white-tailed squirrel, has peacefully passed away. Thanks for the memories.”
Billie’s body was taken to, according to UH an “undisclosed campus freezer,” for storage. A GoFundMe page was established to help pay for Billie’s taxidermy and a donor known only as “Anonymous UH Student” donated the entire sum of $550 needed. On April 27, 2017, students presented the now stuffed Billie to UH Special Collections at MD Anderson Library in a ceremony that featured flag bearers and bagpipes. A Facebook page was established where students could post their condolences and memories.
“We had breakfast together one time. Little dude loved bagels.” - UH student Janine Dworin.
“I remember when he turned down my strawberry for a cheesy Cheeto. He made my day.” - UH student Julia Smelley.
"Every time I saw this squirrel before my test, midterm or final, it wished me good luck." - UH communications student Matt Flora.
“It [Billie] gave me the power and knowledge for me to pass my communication law test once.” - UH student Emmanuel Gonzalez.
Billie’s remains is the only biological specimens in UH Special Collections.
My daughter works there and gets to see him every day.
How lucky is that?
This piece first appeared in the Fredericksburg Standard
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