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Murder Hornets is now available on Audible!
And the narrator Adrian M. Lopez does an absolutely fantastic job!
I mean he is seriously great.
I absolutely loved what he did with some of the characters.
Give Murder Hornets a listen by clicking HERE!
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My father is 75 years old and angry at the world.
These are his stories
“I used to eat at the Saltgrass Steak House a lot when I was on the road. So, when they built one two exits from my house I was pretty excited. I go in and I ask the hostess for takeout menu. She says, ‘We don’t have takeout menus. But you can order online.’ I said, ‘I don’t do online. I want a takeout menu.’ She says she’s sorry, she doesn’t have one, company policy, blah, blah, blah.
Anyway, forget them. I’m never going back.”
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Where to start?
Where to start?
How about I just use the crazy man at Tabak Haus’ own words to tell the tale…
“John Denver’s not dead. I was one and 15,000 homeless people they put in jail over there in Monterey, California and John Denver was there with me. I asked him if he faked his death and he said he did cuz he was tired of it all. Couldn’t stand it no more…”
“So, anyway it was him that helped me come up with my idea. I’m gunna start a Christian Gentleman’s Club in Fredericksburg. A real Christian ti…I can’t say that word cuz it ain’t Christian. But the bar will be. All the women are Christian. I dun recruited them from 50 different Hooters around the state. Woody Harrelson is going to be an investor. There’s gonna be a Cowboy Church in the back and several rooms where you can sleep it off or use if ya’ get lucky…”
“I just got outta jail and this is the first place I came. I was at Silver Creek last night and the bouncer was a jerk. I said, ‘You wanna dance?!’ He said he was a Navy SEAL. I punched him in the nose, and he knocked me down and just started jumping up and down on me. The cops came and arrested me and put me in jail. Can you believe that? They dun put me in jail…”
“I told them about my bar and they didn’t believe me. It’s a real deal and will happen…”
I can hardly wait.
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My first Audio book is out!
And it only took five months.
My publisher first told me The Anaconda of Z was going to be released on Audible back in June. Five months later, it’s now on Amazon.
It’s narrated by Harry Roger Williams III, whose narration skills can be found on such other Audible titles as Porn Addiction Recovered: The Ultimate Guide to Stop Porn Obsessing: Science of Pornography Addiction Revealed, Dr. Sadist, and Alcoholic Cure: Stop Drinking Now, Volume 1.
Yes.
I’m in good company.
I joke but the narrator is really good and the production is great.
So, please, give it a listen.
Buy The Anaconda of Z on Audible HERE!
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I was in my favorite cigar bar this past weekend when I saw a regular that comes in once a month from San Antonio.
He’s a nice guy, Hispanic, super friendly.
Let’s call him Guillermo.
Guillermo’s usually with his wife but this time he has two friends with him one of which is fairly large.
Guillermo introduces his friends to me then says that the larger gentlemen used to be famous.
“Really?” I said in response.
“Yeah!” Guillermo says in reply then insists that his friend prove it by showing me a video.
Guillermo’s friend shows me a Subway commercial on his iPhone. The commercial is in Spanish and features him and Jared the Subway guy.
“He lost 100 pounds in six months on the Subway diet so they put him in a commercial,” Guillermo tells me.
“Holy crap!” I exclaim to Guillermo’s friend. “You lost 100 pounds by just eating Subway?”
Guillermo’s friend bursts into laughter.
“Hell no!” He says. “I did a whole lot of cocaine too!”
The trio explodes in laughter.
“Is that true?” I ask Guillermo.
“Yeah, he had to go to rehab and everything.”
Subway and cocaine – I hadn’t heard of that one before.
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My bartender had Devil eyes.
Or snake eyes.
I’m not sure what they were supposed to be.
They actually reminded me of the Visitor’s eyes from the old V mini-series but given the guy’s age I doubt he’s into 1980’s sci-fi.
Anyway…
He wore crazy eyes.
I found this quite the distraction as I drank my beer but to each their own I guess.
I’m not sure what he’s thinking wearing decorative contacts.
Maybe he thinks he’ll get better tips if he scares the hell outta his customers.
Pick up more women.
“You look just like Satan! Let’s go back to my place!”
Again, I’m not sure why he was wearing them.
I didn’t bother to ask.
I just drank my beer.
Be gone Devil!
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